Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize