More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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