I wish I only lived at night.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
