i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
