I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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