tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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