Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just tell him i said nine months
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
