I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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