Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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