it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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