I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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