Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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