my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
