Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
