i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
