Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
this hospital has no fireball
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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