i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
