i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
