So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
