I just pynch a tree in the face
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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