Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
