why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He shit in the fireplace
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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