when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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