Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
