Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
