PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
