put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
