I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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