Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
