sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize