does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
