lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
