You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
