I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
