Me too!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
