This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
