I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize