Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
