she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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