ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize