do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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