I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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