this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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