So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
