have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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