You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
