i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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