between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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