Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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