i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
