I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
did i just pee glitter
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