that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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