I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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