it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
