Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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