I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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