i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
